Pick up 6.10am in Christleton, arrive John O'Groats at 3.20pm; 518 mile plus two stops, average speed Warp Factor 4. Andrew worried he may have cracked the Volvo's dilithium crystal.
6 hours 15 minutes cycling
Having refused to join the locals in the bar for a pint before breakfast, the condemned men tucked into as many hearty calories as possible and made it to the start point at 9.24.
The weather was perfect for cycling. No wind, overcast and not too cold. All changed while taking advantage of a quick break in Lybster for a coffee after 29 miles. For the remainder of the days cycling it positively persisted it down.
Lunch at Helms Deep - oops sorry! Helmsdale - met up with cyclists on the final day heading in the opposite direction. Felt strong urge to turn round and blag it!
Afternoon break in Dornoch was ham sandwiches which had been in cling film in our back pockets since breakfast. Can anyone explain how one side of the sandwich becomes soggy while the other is like a Ryvita. Still we ate them anyway. Looking forward to the last 20 miles and a short Ferry trip to the Hotel in Cromarty.
It was a bit of a slog but we made it in good spirits ready to hop onto our 10 minute ferry trip. Imagine our disappointment when we found a distinct lack of nautical activity on the jetty at Nigg. We later found out the recently repaired boat had been dropped into the water that morning and had sprung a leak.
At least our roving cameraman, Andrew, was on hand to bundle the bikes into the back of the Volvo and drive us the 30 or so miles around the inlet to get us to the hotel, still wet and cold, just in time for a quick bath and dinner. Haggis, Neeps and Tatties, Cullen Skink but couldn't quite manage the Clootie Dumpling....
6 hours 15 minutes cycling
Awoke to the pitter-patter of rain on the window. Oh joy! This was all forgotten when a magnificent full breakfast was served, right down to the haggis-like black pudding. Local hero Hugh Miller had spawned many a pun the night before and so we left Andrew roaming the streets of Cromarty in search of a cup of Hugh Miller Tea. The team meanwhile set out into the storm and immediately hit problems. Rich fell off whilst getting on his bike - a schoolboy error. Undaunted, the plucky twosome struck out for Ballnachuilish 100 miles distant.
The intermittent showers were now interspersed with absolute downpours. Fearing a repeat of the demise of the wicked witch of the west ("I'm shrinking, I'm shrinking" etc) Scotty and Rich decided to 'do lunch' at the Glenmoriston arms at Invermoriston. The warm welcome was distinctly siberian - 'you can't come in with those shoes lads' was particularly cheering to the dripping duo. Anyway - food is food and the Sunday lunch worked wonders. The rain stopped, the wind blew from the north and the two were off like whippets. The miles flew by and Ballachulish arrived in short time. A Proper warm welcome this time - Strathassynt Guest House came up trumps with drying room (which we filled), bike store (ditto) and a myriad of other nice touches. Popped next store to the Laroch bistro and pub for a completely surreal but friendly evening with the locals. Not sure what they have for Sunday lunch but it's pretty mind bending on the evidence we saw...
First 80 miles in 4 hours, last 20 miles in 4 hours
Smug faces all round as we looked out of the curtains before breakfast and saw the beginnings of a beautiful day. We weren't disappointed.
Scotty promised that the pass of Glencoe was a mere 800ft easy climb. However, a strong headwind and 1142ft later we reached the top of Rannochmoor. The bad taste was soon sweetened by a 30mph tailwind, which stayed with us for most of the day. Some spectacular scenery flew by at up to 34mph on the flat. Progress was swift and the weather was perfect for cycling. We were in Alexandria at the end of Loch Lomond in what seemed no time at all. The remaining 30 miles was a different story; another 4 hours of haphazard motion through the urban sprawl of Glasgow and its suburbs was topped of by a puncture 2 miles from the hotel.
6 hours 30 minutes cycling
A chilly but bright day greeted the duo. The bikes were unloaded from the back of the Volvo and pieced back together. East Kilbride was safely negotiated and we struck out for the lowlands. After 10 slowish miles Rich noticed his rear wheel wasn't actually secured to his bike so had to stop sharpish to rectify yet another schoolboy error. 15 miles further and disaster struck..a second puncture was swiftly followed by Scotty snapping the valve off the backup inner tube when removing his pump. Looked like a case for international rescue.
The Support vehicle duly arrived and the team was back up and running but only after an hour delay. Backs to the wall, they headed at top speed for Moffat where the midday break was planned. Progress was swift over the cycle lanes until Rich had a cunning plan and persuaded Scotty to make a shortcut down a 2 mile, pot holed, gravel strewn dead end...against the wind. Ouch!
Lunch was a splendid mid afternoon fish and chip supper in Moffat (The Balmoral) and progress was much smoother and faster. Indeed cycle beat Volvo in the queue into Carlisle and the two happy bunnies are talking of an early start tomorrow for the trip to Preston but that might just be the liquid carbohydrate talking....
7 hours 30 minutes cycling
True to their words the JoGLErs headed out a full 45 minutes earlier than usual. The journey started off bright and sunny and it stayed that way for all of 100 yards after which the the rain lashed down with a ferocity to beat anything that Scotland could throw at us. To add insult to injury there was a strong headwind and the rain was so heavy that it was positively painful. The rain lasted until Mungrisdale after which the day brightened up and by the time we were past Skiddaw the sun even made an appearance.
Lunch in Chapel Stile, bathed in sunshine, made up for the awful 25% hill over from Grasmere. Wainwright's Inn served up a treat with their speciality (half a lamb and chips).
For the next hour the duo cycled as lonely as a cloud o'er hill and dale, except there weren't any clouds and they weren't technically alone as there were two of them (but you get what I mean). The glorious weather kept up the spirits despite the A6 and their impending arrival in Preston. Whistling that well known Chris Rea song - Road to Hell, the duo negotiated the delights of Preston and finally escaped to Leyland, finishing for the day 10 miles closer to Land's End than planned.
First 40 miles in 4 hours, last 60 in 3 hours 45 minutes.
Revitalised by the loving touch of their nearest and dearest the plucky duo left Leyland with 110 miles to go to Ludlow...The progress was slow to lunch time in Frodsham where the spouses and Chris Mayer and Tall Paul were there to greet them after a 40 mile slog though Lancashire towns and villages. (Even Richard's dad found time to put down his strimmer to cheer them on).
At 2.45, following lunch at the Bears Paw and with 70 miles still to go before the end of the day the JoGLErs were greeted with a strong head wind. Before too long it started to rain, which was to settle in for the rest of the day.
With both Chris Mayer and Andrew in support, the rest of the day flew by, with only 1 puncture to spoil the spirits. The duo cut the ride 12 miles short as time was getting on.
Alan Riley met the wandering 3 in Ludlow where upon much beer and merriment was forthcoming. The day ended (as expected) in a fine Indian restaurant (Golden Moments), with a pint or two of Kingfisher.
8 hours 30 minutes cycling
At 9.50am the Joglers resumed their challenge. They would be up against it today as they needed to claw back the lost mileage of the day before. Spirits were high however and they resolved to not only get back on track but also to try and go beyond their planned destination of Cheddar.
They got off to a good start and powered through to Leominster in quick time. Having each consumed a cake the size and consistency of a half brick they continued on to Monmouth without incident. The benevolent tail wind pushed them through the Wye valley and over the M48 bridge across the Severn towards Bristol.
Turning south west into the wind progress became much slower but the dogged duo dug in diligently and cycled well into the evening finally finishing at Rooks Bridge 6 miles ahead of schedule - a good day's cycling!
6 hours cycling
A bit of a rest day with only 77 miles to go to our penultimate stop just past Okehampton. A restful day was spent winding our way up and around the Cornish and Devon hills. The day started off dry but gradually disintegrated into heavy rain shortly to be replaced by even heavier rain and a gale force head wind.
The duo are beginning to feel the strain, however, with only 96 miles to go to Land's End tomorrow they are remarkably chipper. Check out the mystery photo of the effects of cycling on Scotty's limbs.
With the forecast for gales and rain to continue tomorrow, the JoGLErs will need to put their battered bodies through one final herculean effort. However, their bodies aren't as badly battered as Andrew's Little Chef fish and chips this evening.
8 hours cycling
Unfortunately the weather forecast proved to be correct, as gale force winds and torrential rain battered our bedroom window all night.
After a quick bowl of muesli the decrepit duo set out on their earliest start yet (7.00) in anticipation of slow progress caused by strong head winds. After 3 hours and 30 miles of cycling in the pouring rain disaster struck. Scotty ran over a piece of metal which shredded his tyre and burst his inner tube. As Andrew awoke from his first lie-in to the sound of our emergency call the drowned rats stood in the cold for 30 minutes waiting for International Rescue to turn up in Thunderbird 2 with the spare wheel.
The slog continued as the wind and rain were unabated. Thunderbird 2's second rescue mission was the delivery of Over-filled mega baps from the mobile greasy-spoon at Victoria. BK Double Whoppas are lite-bites in comparison. The rain eased after lunch but the wind strengthened making progress difficult. Still, the JoGLErs ground through the miles making Penzance before 4.00. A quick refuel with Cornish Pastie and Lucozade helped the duo to complete the last 12 mile for a 5.00 finish to rapturous applause from an anonymous couple.
And so the End to End has ended
And what have we all learnt?
To All who follow here's do's and dont's
From JoGLErs who've been burnt.
Do seek out a strong tail wind.
And don't let your carbos drop.
Make sure your effort's twinned
With a friend who will not stop.
A third must also follow
In his slow but trusty Volvo.
More than this, the JoGLErs prayer
From North to South I'll be a stayer!
Great bar opening times.
3* breakfast
Warm welcome. Good coffee. Internet cafe.